The Emotionless Puppet
by Autore Raita
Summary: "What you need is a puppet, one that you can control," Tsuna's voice cracked in despair, "I can't stand too be that puppet. It hurts too much.." Oneshot. Tsuna is around 18 years old in here. Moved from The Final Stand


Summary : "What you need isn't me," Tsuna spoke in pain, "But a puppet that will listen to everything you say. I can't stand to be that puppet. Its hurts too much."

This is around 3 years after Tsuna becomes the boss.

* * *

As Tsuna took his place in the meeting room, he briefly smiled back at Haru who was practically bouncing up and down in her chair.

His heart was pounding in anticipation, hoping that by the end of it, everyone would smile at him and told them that they supported him. Holding the paper up, he then began.

"..therefore, I've decided to send the CEDEF out for the mission. The rest of you will be handling other missions in France, Germany and London respectively," Tsuna stated, placing the papers down with a confident smile.

The guardians glanced at each other hesitantly.

Scratching the back of his head hesitantly, Yamamoto began, "Um.. Tsuna, I don't think that's a good idea."

Tsuna's smile melted away. _Again. _

"Why?" he asked, clenching his fist tightly.

Hibari continued on, "I'll handle the mission myself, omnivore. The CEDEF can deal with the rest."

"There isn't a need," he stated, eyes glaring in anger, "I've went through ever single detail of the mission. The CEDEF specialises in remaining undercovers. They'll do just fine."

"Kufufu, of course, we know that you worked hard, Tsunayoshi-kun," Mukuro began with what seemed like a 'gentle' smile. It only managed to irk him further. "But perhaps your experience is.. limited? You've always been the one sitting in the office giving out missions. We're more experienced in deciding who is more suitable."

Tsuna released a shaky breath of anger. _Do you know? How painful it feels? Having to sit there and wait while everyone else is out there fighting for their lives all for the sake of this Famiglia? You think I don't want to be out there? You think its that relaxing, holding onto every single moment just praying that everyone can come home safe and sound? If I could, I would be out there fighting too! And yet, why? As my guardians, you should be the ones that understand me most and yet you keeping rubbing it in!_

Remaining oblivious to his thoughts, Gokudera then sent him a reassuring smile, "I agree with the pineapple head, Jyuudaime. We're not doubting you. We just want what is best for the Famiglia."

Tsuna wanted to scoff. How funny. They used to be at each other's throat the whole time. And yet now, their words were completely synchronised, as though they had planned out what they were supposed to say. And the only reason for that was because they were working together to defy him.

"Besides," Lambo began, "I'm sure Vongola wouldn't want something like the incident to occur again."

And then something in Tsuna's heart broke. Just like it did the numerous times they had brought it up. Desperately, he glanced around, hoping for his guardians to show some reaction but they were perfectly calm. As though Lambo's words hadn't pierce straight through his heart at all.

The 'incident' was something that occurred last year. And the reason for it? Tsuna. He had been inexperienced. He would never had thought that what seemed like a simple transaction mission was actually one that required the skills of a hitman only weaker than Reborn.

He had sent out one of their newest Famiglia member, thinking that it could give him some experience. But he was wrong. Terribly wrong. He would never forget the pained look in the boy's face when he was shot. Tsuna had caused the boy's very first experience in a mission to end in the Emergency Room. Thankfully, the boy had never once blamed him and managed to get back on his feet very quickly.

But it left a deep scar in Tsuna's heart. Thankfully, Reborn had managed to snap him back into his senses and convinced him that the only way to make sure the incident would never occur again, was to improve. He'd went through months of tutoring with Reborn, it felt like middle school all over agan. In the few months, he felt his confidence growing back again.

But when he'd finally return to his boss's duties which the Ninth had so kindly helped him with, he realised that it was impossible to heal after all.

Because his guardians would never let him.

Over and over again, they would tell him that his plans were wrong and do things their own way. They never once let him have a chance to prove his capabilities, making use of the incident to force him into a corner and agree with their decisions.

_And the funny part was,_ Tsuna thought ironically, _that they all think that their doing what's right for me for its anything but that. _

Glancing to his side, he noticed that Haru seemed upset and looked as though she had wanted to say something. Tsuna wanted to tell her it was alright. But he could barely control himself.

"Anyway, just leave it all to us, alright Tsuna?" Yamamoto grinned at him.

He couldn't resist the release a bitter chuckle, "Alright? You make it sound as though I have a choice."_  
_

"Boss?" Chrome asked in surprised. He had always agreed whenever they tried to help him. Why was it that he seemed upset all of a sudden?

Tsuna gritted his teeth, "I've had enough of this. The next time I need a meeting to discuss about the missions, I'll do it with the CEDEF. you guys can just wait to receive orders."

He stood up, all ready to storm out of the room with Haru when Yamamoto said something that infuriated him.

"What are you talking Tsuna? We're trying to help you here! Stop being childish!" Yamamoto scolded gently in what sounded like a big brother's tone.

_Childish? I'm childish?_

"Shut up," he hissed, from where he stood by the doorway.

"Jyuudaime-" Gokudera began hesitantly only to be cut off by his boss, **"I told you to shut the hell up!"**

Everyone sated at him in shock, never once seeing him this angry before.

"Trying to help me?" he scoffed, eyes blazing with anger, "Don't make me laugh!"

They flinched as he raised his voice.

"All you've been doing is telling me that I'm useless and all the decisions I make will end up in failure!" Tsuna snapped at them, barely containing his rage.

"You're misunderstanding, Boss-" Chrome began.

"Shut up!" he growled at her, not caring about how Mukuro's eyes flashed in warning. " 'Tsuna, you have to listen to us or else the incident will occur again, or 'Tsuna, you don't want someone to get injured again do you?' that's all you've been saying!"

"I've had enough of it!" he snapped, "I have feelings too! The incident left a scar greater than anyone's in my heart! You think I'm not afraid? Do you know how much I fear that the same thing will happen again? Why do you think I still work so hard to go through every mission? Because I want to improve! To prove that I can be a boss that is capable of protecting my people! But every single time I try to do so, every single **fucking **time, my guardians, my dearest friends that I thought would have supported me the most is always the first one to tell me that my plan is going to fail!"

"You say that you're doing what is best for me but every single time you shoot down my plan, you pierce a knife straight through my heart!" he shouted, helplessness and despair in his voice.

"Why? Why is it that everyone, even Reborn is supporting me. But yet you guys, as my friends, the people that I love the most, are always the first to say that I'm useless? Do you really think me as you're boss? Much less your friend?" he asked.

"You're misunderstanding, Jyuudaime," Gokudera began quickly, "We're really trying to help you-"

"If you want to help me then stop babying me! I'm not Dame-Tsuna anymore! I don't need you to take care of me! I'm trying my hardest here, the least you could do is to destroy all of my hardwork with that stupid excuse that you're trying to help me!" he growled out.

He release deep breaths, clenching his fist tightly as his voice came out pained, "I'm not asking much here. All I want is to have your support. Is that too much to ask?"

"Tsuna-san," Haru glanced at him worriedly before glaring at the guardians, "None of you here understand.. Tsuna-san always work hard everyday, everytime I see him, his either making notes or discussing with Reborn-chan. He barely takes any break. Even when Gokudera-san and the others are sleeping, Tsuna-san is still working!"

"Shut up! You don't understand anything, stupid woman-" Gokudera shouted.

"The one who don't understand anything is you guys!" Haru snapped back, tears welling up in her eyes, "All of you think that the Tsuna-san doesn't care about the incident! That's why you keep shooting him down thinking that he wouldn't care if someone died in a mission! You're all wrong! You've never seen it! The way Tsuna-san wakes up from a nightmare gasping for breath! The way he trembles whenever he hears the sound of a gunshot! But Tsuna-san never gives up! Because he wants to protect everyone! All of you don't even know how much pain Tsuna-san is in! To make things worst, everytime you meet him, you always make sure to remind him of the incident! Gokudera-san and everyone else is the reason why Tsuna-san never heals! You're the reason why he's always in pain!"

"I hate all of you so much," Haru sniffed, wiping her tears away quickly with the back of her hand, "I hate how you always make Tsuna-san's smile disappear so quickly."

"Haru.." Yamamoto stared at her in shock.

"Everyone had seen how hard he works..", Haru said, "The maids, the butlers and even the bodyguards! Everyone in this mansion have seen the effort Tsuna-san puts in because its obvious! That's why everyone supports him even though he made that mistake a year ago! Everyone noticed except for Yamamoto-san and the others! And the only reason for that is because none of you care enough to notice!"

"T-that's not it," Chrome began hesitantly.

"Then what is it?" Haru shouted, eyes flaring, "If that's not it then give me a reason why Tsuna-san always comes back from a meeting looking so hurt! Tell me why you always think that everything he does wrong! If you think I'm wrong, then tell me why all of you keep hurting him!"

"Haru is not going to stand by and watch you hurt Tsuna-san.." Haru said with determination as she reached over for his hand, sniffing, "If none of you aren't going to change, Haru will take him away from here. You have no right to hurt Tsuna-san!"

Tsuna stared down at Haru in shock, feeling his heart warming up at her words. She was always the one, the only one that never doubted him no matter what happened.

As he wrapped his arms around her, she sniffled, letting out a small sob, "Its unfair! Why is it that Tsuna-san has to be the one to get hurt? Gokudera-san and the others should be the one to experience the pain!"

Softening his eyes, Tsuna pressed a small kiss onto her forehead, "Thank you, Haru."

"Jyuudaime.." Gokudera and the others were now staring at him in shock.

Tsuna glanced up at them with a helpless smile, "What you guys need is not me. But a puppet. One that will do everything you ask."

"That's not it-"

"I don't to be that puppet," Tsuna's voice cracked in despair, "I can't take the pain anymore. If I hear any of you bringing up the incident again, I might really just die from the pain.."

Tsuna glanced down at the ring on his finger and with a sigh, removed it from his hand.

"You have this back," he said with a pained smile, "Give it to whoever you think will listen to you."

"Wait, Jyuudaime!" Gokudera shouted in panic.

Tsuna shook his head, walking foward to place the ring down in Gokudera's palm.

With one last pained smile, he turned and walked out of the room, hugging Haru, with the words, "I'm sorry."

"Do you know?" Reborn appeared out of nowhere and spoke, "That during the last mission you guys handled, the one that even though Tsuna had insisted to much to let Lanchia handle it, none of you agreed to, you guys might have died? Tsuna's skills have already improved greatly. Even I have confidence in his abilities now. He was right when he said they you guys weren't suited for it. Had Tsuna not ordered Lanchia to follow you secret and help out in the shadows, you guys would have died already."

"Perhaps Tsuna was right," Reborn pulled his fedora down, "None of you here needs him. You just need something to control."

With that, he disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

As the meeting room turned silent, Chrome asked, "W-were we wrong?"

No one replied, eyes fixed on the door with pain and regret.

_It was all too late._

_~Fin~_

* * *

I've decided to let The Final Stand be a oneshot by itself. Although I'll still continue writing Angst.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think about this?

Raita


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